Not Invisible
by QueenSeer161
Summary: Inspired by U2's song "Invisible", Unique is upset because she screwed up her friendship with Ryder and she's heard Ryder is planning on leaving Glee because of her. She decides to spend some time alone in the auditorium singing out her feelings instead of going to class. But when Ryder makes a surprising announcement, it appears she may not have been as alone as she thought.


**A/N: Inspired by "Invisible" by U2. I could just imagine either Unique or Blaine singing the song, and though it isn't really Unique's usual dish, I imagine her putting a personal twist on the song. I hope you enjoy, and please review. :)**

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As hard as she tried, Unique couldn't get the object of her affection out of her mind. Except now, it wasn't for the usual reasons. She had known the moment he started telling her the things he had, that she was treading a very fine line. She knew then that she was doing something she shouldn't, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted far too badly to believe if he just knew – just understood the girl she really was – that he would somehow learn to look beyond her skin, her hair, her weight, the size of her chest, and see she was a _person_. She convinced herself of this. But in the end, it wasn't enough. It wasn't, because she screwed up so royally by never telling him the truth, not until she absolutely had to. And by then it was far too late.

He hated her. Dark, wide eyes scanned the faces of the people around her. She stood tall – taller than most of the other girls her age, and held her books to her wide, flat chest. Her chin was high, but every step she took, each pair of eyes she caught sent shivers of fear throughout her body. She simply held her chin a bit higher. But she couldn't help her fear. No more than she could help the truth she'd hidden from even herself. She wasn't ever going to make it with Ryder – he was never going to love her after what she did to him. And if she'd told him sooner, if she'd just…_manned up_…

Her eyes dropped and she blinked away a tear, then picked up her pace and took a quick left turn into a hallway leading away from the science lab. He'd told her he would never be her friend again, and worse – announced to Mr. Shue that he was quitting. As much as she loved to sing, she made up her mind already. If it was just because of her that he was leaving, she would be the one to leave. She would make it right, because it was she that let the situation with Ryder get out of hand. She drove him to it, pushed him way too far, because she was so damn scared.

The hallway thinned, and as soon as she was clear of the crowd, the girl took off at a light run to the April Rhodes auditorium. She pushed on the door and it burst open. She slowed to a trot and then a walk as she made her way down the aisle. Her eyes scanned the stage. Her mind flashed back to Regionals. He hugged her and the moment he realized who it was he'd hugged he'd quickly recoiled. Like she was something slimy and gross. Like she was something no one would ever want to touch. She swallowed a lump in her throat, because they had only just started getting along – started being _friends_.

She climbed arrived at the base of the stage and dropped her books at the edge. She headed around the side and climbed the stairs, stepping out onto the large stage. It felt so large, and so much smaller at the same time. She needed this, needed time alone to think, just needed time away from the science lab where Ryder was sitting near Jake and Marley and ready to pointedly ignore _her_, Unique. Or him, "Wade." She pressed her lips tightly together and felt her heart squeeze. She had a hard time thinking, at times like these, that there was more to her than that, that there was something real about her that only certain people could see.

Looking around her quickly, she spotted a small stereo. She glided over, and got her iPod out of her pocket. With a few swipes of her neatly manicured finger, she found the song – the song she'd only recently heard but that she'd needed to listen to more and more often. She plugged the iPod into the stereo, pressed a button on the machine, then hit "play" on U2's "Invisible". A rhythmic beat started up and she reached for her scarf, and she pulled it up over her head just as the electric guitars joined in the intro. She wasn't wearing a wig today – and though she wore a bra beneath her silky button-down shirt, it wasn't stuffed. She sashayed rhythmically towards the center of the stage. The lights were low, the audience was empty, but if she closed her eyes and tapped the heel of her foot, her hips moving with the beat of the drums, her mind could take her somewhere else – an auditorium filled with people, an auditorium where Ryder sat and saw her, really saw her, in the front row. Because for all the apologizing she needed to do, she wanted to say this, too. To him, to everyone who couldn't see beyond the body she wasn't old enough to change.

**_It's like the room just cleared of smoke,  
I didn't even want the heart you broke  
It's yours, to keep. You just might need one._**

She pointed out into the empty auditorium then drew her arm back in. With a skip she started moving to one end of the stage, but stopped after a few steps. The next part of the verse had her gesturing to herself.

**_I finally found my real name.  
I won't be me, when you see me again._**

She fanned both her hands out as she ran with the last word of the sentence. She shook her head, then skipped into motion again, returning to the center as the verse lead to the chorus.

**_No, I won't be my father's son._**

**_I'm more than you know.  
I'm more than you see here._**

She started dancing and moving with more energy, her arms opening wide as she approached the front of the stage, then back again.

**_More than you'll let me be.  
I'm more than you know:  
A body and soul.  
You don't see me but you will;  
I am not invisible!_**

She danced to the instrumental interlude, then returned, her body language less open and energized.

**_I don't dream, not as such.  
I don't even think about you that much,  
Unless I start to think at all._**

The tear she'd blinked back in the hallway collected in the corner of her eye, but as she squeezed her eyes tighter it slipped out and slid down the outside of her cheek.

**_All those frozen days, and your frozen ways,  
They melt away,  
Your face like snow!_**

**_I'm more than you know.  
I'm more than you see here.  
More than you'll let me be.  
I'm more than you know:  
A body and soul.  
You don't see me but you will;  
I am not invisible!_**

**_I am here!_**

As she sang, she danced, losing herself, her eyes drifting upwards as she addressed her words to more than Ryder – to her parents, to her teachers, to the bullies in this school and at Carmel. She sang to everyone that ever told her what she was: a freak, a he-she, a _boy_. She was angry, and she was scared, and she was running out of the will to keep on fighting.

But she had to remind herself, it didn't matter what the world thought – it didn't matter what anyone thought except her – and her friends that supported her. And Ryder used to be one of them, but now…now she wouldn't blame him if he never ever spoke to her again. She didn't want to quit the New Directions, but she knew that it was all her fault that Ryder was even leaving and if she talked to him – if she could get him to even listen for a minute – she would tell him not to quit – that she would quit so he could stay. It wasn't fair for him to lose out on something he loved because of her.

Her heart swelled with a sense of resigned sadness, and as she danced, she turned around towards the audience seats and let her eyes close tightly, her brows furrowing. She bounced her hip as she stood in place.

**_There is no them. There is no them.  
There's only us.  
There's only us._**

Her voice raised and so did her eyes when the instruments kicked in again and she skipped a little and moved up closer to the edge of the stage, her arms moving outwards then folding in, as she threw a little pirouette into her impromptu routine before continuing on.

**_There is no them. There is no them.  
There's only us.  
There's only us._**

She prepared for the final few lines by slowing her movement, closing her eyes, and focusing in her mind on that guy in the center, front – the guy she wanted and had always wished could see her for who and what she really was. She accepted they would never be a couple, but it still hurt, still tore her heart in two, that they might never again be friends.

**_There is no them. There is no them._**

In her mind, Ryder looked her right in the eye, his expression inscrutable. But Unique could feel enough for the both of them as she crooned the last few lines.

**_There's only you.  
There's only me.  
There is no them…_**

She left the auditorium still sad, but also feeling a little exhilarated. She never made it to the lab, but caught up with Marley at her best friend's locker. Together the girls walked to Glee Club, and to Unique's relief, her friend just let the fact that she had skipped science lab because she "wasn't feeling it" slide. By the time they made it to Glee Club, Unique was almost feeling better. She would wait until after the meeting to talk to Mr. Shue, to tell him she would quit so Ryder wouldn't have to. But today, just for today, she planned to enjoy one last meeting to the fullest. It was only when she walked in the room and saw her ex-friend sitting in one of the plastic chairs. Unique stopped in her tracks by the door. Ryder was sitting in the chair and he was staring down at his hands, he didn't seem to have noticed the girls arrive.

Marley, though, headed right over to the guy. "Hey Ryder," she called out in tentative greeting. "I'm surprised to see you here." Unique swallowed her anxiety like a stone. "I thought you were out sick – I didn't see you in Chemistry."

Ryder looked up at her. "Huh? Oh. Right. Chemistry." That was when his eyes wandered away from Marley. Unique's heart quickened when they landed on her and lingered for a moment. They moved back to Marley, though, and he just strugged. "I just – wasn't really feeling it I guess."

The corner of Unique's mouth twitched at before she realized he might not have been feeling it because he thought Unique was there. She could feel whatever good mood she had gotten from singing deflate. Slowly, Unique approached a seat that was far away from Ryder. Marley left his side and came to sit by her. Unique smiled weakly at her, but it was hard, knowing what she had to do. She would make it easier on Ryder, tell Mr. Shue that she was quitting now before the lesson started so Ryder wouldn't have to say goodbye. That is, after all, what she assumed she'd come to do. She would ask to speak to Mr. Shue in private first – yes, that was the best thing. And then their teacher arrived, ready to start the lesson without so much as a glance around the room to make sure everyone was there.

She started lifting her hand, prepared to interrupt, when to her left she heard a voice. "Mr. Shue?" It was Ryder. Unique lowered her hand and looked over at him. He wasn't looking at her at all, and had his hand raised high in the air. "Before you get started, I have something I want to say." Without really waiting for permission, Ryder got up out of his chair and headed to the front of the room, his hands tucked in his pockets with only his thumbs showing. He took a breath, his eyes dropping to the floor. Unique was sure she knew what he was going to do, and knew that she should try and stop him, but she couldn't. Her tongue felt like it had turned to stone. Her heart had stuck itself in her throat and she was having a hard time swallowing it back. Her eyes, though – her eyes worked, and they had locked themselves on Ryder, half fearful and half hopeful that he had miraculously changed his mind.

"I know a lot of you have heard that I was planning on leaving Glee Club," he started. His eyes never strayed close to Unique, and appeared, in fact, to be focused on the back wall. "Well, it's true – I was planning on leaving. I just – I've been thinking a lot about it and – and I think I'd really rather stay. You guys have all been there for me in one way or another, some more than others, but, you're still my friends. My real friends. And – I think Glee Club is the only place where people have actually seen me – the real me – and not – I don't know – run away screaming." He coughed out a light, nervous laugh.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, everyone else, outside this room – they just see what they want to see. I'm invisible to them, but here – here, there is no them. It's only us and – " He swallowed thickly, his eyes pointedly avoiding Unique. But something inside of her stirred, her heartbeat quickening. The words were too familiar, far too fresh in her mind. Had he seen her? Would she prefer it if he hadn't? "– and that's the way it's supposed to be. So, I'm sorry that I ever thought about leaving you guys. A lot of you have been really good friends to me and though I haven't forgiven certain things…I'd be a really crappy friend to all the rest of you if I just left the club with Nationals right around the corner." Unique looked down at her own hands and swallowed back the lump in her throat. A swirl of emotions and inscrutable thoughts drowned out the light applause and the few cheers. She didn't see Ryder glance her way, and didn't notice that anyone else was looking at her either. All she could think about was leaving New Directions. Ryder's speech not only made it unnecessary for her to leave now for _his_ sake, but made it impossible for her to leave at all without feeling incredibly guilty for letting everyone down far more than she had.

"Thank you, Ryder," said Mr. Shue, a long, goofy grin on his face. "I'm really glad you decided to stick around."

It was then she finally looked up, her own eyes catching Ryder's as they lingered on her a moment longer than they should have. Then, he turned away. Though there wasn't anything warm in his expression, he had looked at her. Maybe that wasn't the same as him accepting her apology, and maybe that wasn't the same as him deciding he would be friends with her again, but for Unique it was a start at least. And she decided it didn't matter if he had seen her sing or not. It was a start.


End file.
